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It was only after I spent an evening comforting a friend who had been dumped by a casual boyfriend (he had strung her along pretending he wanted more commitment than he really intended) that it dawned on me that paying to go on a date was a more honest way to conduct a non‑committal relationship.
Receiving money or gifts from your date is his way of saying “I like you, I want to spend time with you, I want to sleep with you, but I’m not prepared to meet your family or go to Ikea with you on a weekend”.
It felt such a naughty thing to do, typing “younger women for older men” into Google – but when I did, I found several dating sites that would help me find men of a certain age with whom to have some fun.
The allowances and gifts, which were once a happy bonus of my adventures, had become my main motivation.
As promised, I went straight home after coffee with an envelope of cash and never saw him again. All I clung to for security was faith in my own judgment of character following a few Skype chats and one trusted friend to whom I had sent his details. Thankfully he was as good-looking and interesting in the flesh as he was on my computer screen, and we spent two wonderful days together.
Then I accepted a trip to New York with a fortysomething Canadian property investor. He took me to Prada and bought so much that I had to buy another suitcase.
I realise some readers may be shocked by what I am about to divulge, or even consider that what I did and other women do on these sites is tantamount to prostitution.
I know I am setting myself up for widespread condemnation – but allow me to explain.
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When I joined my first sugar daddy dating website five years ago, it wasn’t to find someone to help pay the bills or provide me with a shopping allowance.